“The spiritual alchemist seeks to transform common and unwanted circumstances into more noble ones.”

I was talking to a couple of youth members yesterday at the gym.

We spoke about a common thing for many of us - being fatherless.

Sadly, I wasn't surprised to hear that all three of them had no fathers in their lives and - if they did, they weren't good men.

I wanted to instill some sort of hope in their lives.

I shared with them that even though I had a biological dad, I didn't have a father either.

Some of us don't have role models, but "anti-models."

Philosopher Nassim Taleb refers to anti-models as ‘people we don’t want to resemble when we grow up.’ 

They had seen the gym grow for many years.

I told them that I used the lack of fatherhood in my life as fuel and an advantage.

I became the father I always needed -

The business woman I needed to be.

I turned the pain into greatness - into beauty - into power.

I think this is true for any loss, any wrong, any betrayal -

You have to transcend - become. Use it.

It may just bring about the best things if you allow it to.


“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”

- Mary Oliver


“Spiritual Alchemy is the act of inner transformation.” - Rev. Marilyn Ridley